Take a second to soak in the raw terror that is... Jasper.
To kick-off my sophomore year of high school my mom and her boyfriend at the time (Tim) thought it would be a great idea to buy a puppy. Tim already had one dog named Jet, he was a nine year old cocker spaniel and was the sweetest most well behaved dog I have ever encountered. We all (my family and Tim) agreed upon getting another cocker so Jet would have a little Jet to play with. It was the first week of school and upon arriving home I saw this little white lump of fur sitting in front of the door. He was one of the most adorable and cute puppies I had ever had the blessing to see, little did I know how much this little bastard would ruin.
Jasper was another cocker spaniel and unlike Jets gold sheeny coat, Jasper was incredibly white... so white that when he ran out into the snow it was a hassle to try and find him. Well... his entire life has been spent sleeping, eating and pooping -- There is not much else to tell about him. Here are just a few stories I would love to share with you guys:
One night I was trying to fall asleep and some strange noise outside my bedroom continued to interrupt my slumber. I eventually just zoned it out and was sent right back into my dream of traveling the world as a chess champion alongside my chimpanzee companion (Actual dream I have had, perhaps I will blog about it later.). The next morning I awoke and stepped out of my bedroom door, not only was there a nice brown gift on the floor from Jasper (don't worry it was still warm) but he also had digested a large chunk of the wall right next to the framing of my door. Now these aren't thin walls, and they are completely flat... which leads me to question how he ate it given the shape of his snout. So yes. Jasper ate drywall.
Another time I was eating some gouda cheese (only the best, whoever says havarti is better can re-evaluate their priorities in life) while sitting in my kitchen. In the background I could hear a very faint sound, it sounded like two rocks clashing against one another. No one was home so at this point I knew it was Jasper... and honestly I didn't want to know what he had done. However, it is my obligation as a pet owner to make sure he isn't eating poison or anything so I went and began my search for the canine. I turned around a corner and saw him at the top of the stairs with something shiny in his mouth -- I approached him and saw 4 blades from my moms razor scattered around him and realized the fifth one was in his mouth. To my surprise there was absolutely no blood whatsoever, but he was definitely chewing on the scrap of metal.... I heard it from an entirely different room.
Jasper loves to play, more than anything else in the world (except for maybe food), and if he thinks anyone is going to play with him he gets himself incredibly pumped up. He will run in circles and jump on all the furniture in whatever room or yard he is in regardless of size, I have witnessed him accidentally do a flip off of the couch in my living room. Just close your eyes for ten seconds and think about a stout cocker spaniel doing an acrobatic maneuver off of a couch. Just to clarify this is not what it looked like, but more like this.
Anyways... Thanks for reading. Until next time. My apologies about not posting yesterday, I fell asleep a lot sooner than I was planning.
-UsedtobeSadeeiq
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