On Growing Up

Life is such a strange thing. Existence is random, and that's all there is to it. Yet, somehow we, as simple beings, feel such powerful things that give us this perspective of being locked into the present state. As if everything happening RIGHT now matters. There is no way I would have ever been able to predict the way I live now if you were to ask me a year ago.

In high school I had two close friends, Trevor and Kody. Trevor I talk to maybe once a week about vaping or something else that isn't really significant. Kody and I don't talk more than once a month, if that. During the time we were all very close I would've sworn to anyone that we would always be around for each other. It is sad to see how far we have drifted, because of how different all of our paths became after high school. We moved on. The sad thing about this isn't even that it happened, because it's normal and everyone tells you it is going to happen - but something about the individual mindset is that things will be different; it is that it sneaks by. It's been about a year and a half since I was seeing them each day and to think that it has been that long just leaves me amazed. Growing up is something we all do, something we want to do before it happens, and something we don't want to do when it finally comes down to it.

I've put a lot of thought into my past lately, for better or for worse. My character and the person I am is attributed to the people I saw every day for 7 years, people that I haven't talked to in months. It doesn't have to be the sad and melancholy thing though; if I were to start listing the people I surrounded myself with they are all doing amazing things. I just traveled across the entire country this summer to see friends, family, and for work experiences. I was on the east coast, west coast, border of Canada, and many places between. Someone who had a large impact on my life is moving to Atlanta new to pursue a new future, and it is going to be wonderful for him. Another is in school and living with some friends of his, still with a girl he fell for right before we all parted ways. Another is going to school in southern California, and despite the falling out we had - I know they are having an excellent time there. One got married this year and has a child, and the pictures of that family never fail to bring a smile to my face. My point is that everyone moves on, and they create these visions they always wanted. But, when they make these stories it's not about the people they were growing with - we aren't in school and doing these things to mature to be around each other forever. We were all taking steps together to get to where we are reaching now, and the reason it feels sad is because it worked. We are doing amazing things that we had been wanting our whole lives, and we are always riding with each other because we were pushing each other to excel for our entire lives. The reason it feels sad is because no one tells you what comes next, what is after all of the growing up and the hard work. I miss all of you, and you all need to keep doing what you're doing - because it's incredible being here to see how all of us end up.

- Umar