New Tattoo

So I recently decided it would be a good idea to get a panda tattoo on my left shoulder blade. The other night I started to get it and during the process my friend Tom, the tattoo artist, told me he forgot how much of a bleeder I was. I had no idea how bad it was either. Eventually he says he isn't sure I will be able to get the entire tattoo because of my skin bleeding out the ink before it can settle. So after doing about half of the fill he decided it would be better to call it a day and have me come back in two weeks, then he would try to finish the fill. So.... now I have a half filled panda tattoo on my back. The part that is done looks great but there is a line going up that looks like he was thinking "alright I think we can do it" then right after just pulled a "nope, just kidding". I would try to get a picture but I haven't gotten a good picture of it yet and now that I'm sick I refuse to get out of bed to take a picture of it.

I have another request to do later but I feel like I'm about to fall asleep - it will probably be up later tonight, but no promises. I will also upload a picture of the tattoo when I get the chance.

Here is the tattoo:

Ft. Trail of blood below the leg. 

Just Another Day

A friend today: "My dad refers to you as my white arab friend."
Me: "I am completely okay with that."

Actual conversation today, not uncommon either.

Bad Habits

You can't tell but they all have acrylic nails in this. Even the trumpet player. 

My posts have been spread lately because my computer has been packed away with the rest of my possessions. They are all packed away for a road trip that I will be taking tomorrow, but I decided to dig out my computer to write another blog post today! I've been thinking about what would make an interesting post that isn't going to be repetitive or boring for the reader. And after many minutes of thinking about topics I failed to come up with a good idea and decided to write about my bad habits instead. Enjoy.

For as long as I can remember I have clipped my nails.... with my mouth. I have been a nail-biter for a long time and probably won't stop anytime soon - not because I don't want to, but because I have tried to stop and failed. I once put a coat of nail polish remover on my nails so that whenever I would habitually bite them I would suffer from a harsh taste. Didn't stop me. I got acrylic nails super glued on for playing guitar in a mariachi band I was in, the second they fell off I would bite my nails past the end of my finger again. It is a curse I have been carrying my entire life, and I don't see myself ever being rid of it.

Another problem of mine is that I tend to let first impressions dictate how I view a person more than I should. It is for this reason that I have disliked a majority of my sibling's friends and I am so selective with the people I keep close to me. This is bad in the reverse as well because some people have left me with outstanding first impressions and it blurred my vision when they would do bad things. I would like to think that I have been improving on this because I actually recognize that I do it now.

I am an outgoing introvert - though I'm not entirely sure such a thing exists. I like to meet people and I try my best not to be shy, but I am a naturally awkward person and socializing makes me physically tired. I keep trying to change who I am by being more outgoing and I always end up looking silly or exhausting myself by doing so. I say a lot of things while thinking several other things, so I am trying to maintain my thoughts externally and internally, which is.... problematic. However, I'm not convinced I want to change this about myself because a good number of the friendships I do have can be attributed to this habit.

I am afraid of failure. I have very high expectations of myself and because of them I am afraid of not being able to measure up to the expectations. I will not try new things or take risks if I think there is a fair possibility of me not succeeding, which makes me really upset. I wish I could just change this about myself but it is much easier said than done. Whenever I wouldn't get an ideal time in a race during my competitive swimming days it would put me in a bad mood the rest of the week and I would quit talking to everyone for the remaining part of the day it happened.. Not because they did anything wrong, but because I was so mad at myself for not being able to deliver with the amount of success or efficiency I expected myself to.

I'm sure there are several other bad habits I carry with me; I am either forgetting them or don't know they exist yet. As I remember/recognize more I will come back and throw them in here, but thanks for reading and until next time!

-Umar

Freshman Finale

*Insert stereotypical quote about nature and freedom*

For those of you that haven't been keeping up: I just finished my first year of college. Now, I've been out of my dorm since Friday around noon, but I won't be returning home for a few more days. I have some other obligations here and I wanted to soak in the area without having any commitments or responsibilities. This weekend has been a very eventful and bittersweet ending to my first year as a college student. Someone once told me "college is the pinnacle of your youth." and I never truly understood how correct they were until recently. I will be telling you wonderful people what I did this weekend, and some backstory to why it was so great.

Friday: I woke up at about seven because my last final was at eight. The final was in a very easy class and I was able to finish the two hour test in about a half hour. After the test, I went to pack up the rest of my possessions from the dorm room and moved them out to my car. My stuff had been mostly taken care of, I just needed to find a place to keep my television and futon. Luckily, a good friend of mine was able to watch over them for me for the next month - until he moves them into the house we will be living in for the next few years. During this entire day I had been messaging a girl on facebook, I had recently discovered that she would be attending the college I go to in the fall. I met her last summer for just a week, but never actually knew her that well. We talked about music, movies, books, etc. and realized we had a lot in common. After some more conversation we found out that we will both be in a town in a different part of the country at the same time this summer, too much had been happening for it to be coincidence. Anyways, I then went to meet with the only friend I had at school who was from the same city as me; he and I were going to be taking the trek back to Colorado in the coming days. I helped his roommate and him unload the rest of their bags and gear into a trailer they had built for a road trip that his roommate had planned. Eventually we finished all the moving and we went to hang out at one of their friend's houses. They were super chill guys and we had a great night, ended up crashing at the friends house after some Super Smash Bros and a movie.

Saturday: After waking up in someone else's couch at about 9, my friend (Devon) and I proceeded to go back to his apartment. We showered, made some bacon and egg sandwiches, watched Big Hero 6, then went on a hike. The hike wasn't really planned ahead and we just drove up a road until we decided a spot seemed nice enough to stop and hike. It was great because we took some cheesy pictures at the spots with excellent views of the mountain chain we were in. We hiked up and sort of spiraled the entire way up - this was an awful idea. We made it to the top of the mountain and eventually decided to head back down, the path we took down led us about a mile down the road of where the car was parked. It was the opposite side of the mountain. After the hike we went and changed, then went to hang out with his friends again. Another great night of just hanging out, guys doing guy things. About halfway through the night I started talking to that girl from before on the phone, and continued to do so for 6 hours. She eventually was falling asleep on the phone so we said our farewells but it was one of the most fun and engaging conversations I have had in a long time, and she is definitely one cool cat.

Sunday: I never woke up because I stayed up from Saturday. It is now 8 am and I am doing everything in my power not to fall asleep.

Please note: I am writing this with very minimal sleep - but I felt I owed you guys a post since it's been a couple days.

-Umar

Reader Request: More Music

I have been getting really lost in conversation while talking to some friends about music, one of them suggested I post some of the stuff I've been listening to every once in a while.



















I made sure not to repeat any artists, hope you liked at least one of the songs!

- Umar

Reader Request: Love

You have no idea how much time I wasted to find a picture of these toys.

Love is a topic that comes up in my posts very often but I have failed to write a post about my thoughts on it as a standalone subject. A friend recently messaged me and their request for one of my posts was the topic of Love - so here we are.

Love is something that people all acknowledge and identify to exist, but not always in the same form. Most people assume love is being discussed in regards to an intimate love shared only with those you label as your soul mate. Love comes in a variety of shapes and forms, one example is the way you love a pet; dogs are beloved by most but in more of a innocent and cute way.

Hobbies and interests are a form of love possessed by most people, and it is commonly seen on the social media. It is the feeling that you get when you are part of a team. It happens when you find something you can turn hours into second doing, this can be art, sports, reading, or really anything that inspires you. Inspirational Love.

Another way, and often the most underrated way is the friendly love you share with your friends and family. It is an emotional attachment that forces you to help them even when you know you shouldn't, just because you would do anything to keep them safe and out of trouble - the same feeling that presses you to buy them gifts or make big deals out of their birthdays, the feeling that makes you spam their facebook page with inside jokes that lead everyone else to think you are weird. And the beautiful part about this kind of love is that even with everyone else thinking you look silly you don't care. The people that care are the people who don't value you enough to deserve knowing about those inside jokes. Familial Love.

Now for the part on the love that tends to actually interest people: romantic love. It is a feeling that can put someone at the top of the world or ruin their life, and most times both. I have seen high schoolers more loyal and in love than adults - thought most times at ages that young it is just infatuation. If it is pure you will know. I hear people told it's not "real" love far too often and the people telling it are only the one's who have had bad experiences with love. I'm not entirely sure that I agree people can't be sure what love is just because they are young. If loves truly knows no boundaries then logic would dictate that age is no restriction. If a child can understand that they are happy, or sad, or angry then why would they not be able to grasp the concept of love? Love isn't just a word that creates and awkward or meaningful moment, it's a word that carries power - power that is frequently disregarded. It is the feeling that makes the world melt around you and fall into a hushed audience spectating the bittersweet moment you are living. It is a passion so powerful that your brain photocopies everything about it in a perfect frame by frame; only for you to look back and wonder about if each and any detail had been different. It will always be the end to the seemingly endless tunnels of thoughts residing in your brain, and no matter what you do to reach a different destination you will always end up at the same point. It is what will make you trade hours of hard times for a few seconds of time with them. It is the goosebumps, the butterflies, the lightheadedness. It is the first thing you think of each day when you wake up, and the last thing you think of before you fall asleep. It gives you someone to share everything with, the world is your playground. It is both a blessing and a curse simply because you will never be able to escape it. It is the purest and darkest of emotions. It is what will keep you restless at night and trapped within your mind the entire day. It is the vice-grip that clenches around your chest tighter every time you are reminded of it until you can't feel anything anymore. It is what sends you into the darkest depths of the mind searching for an escape, but you just become more lost deep within. Romantic Love.

I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in instinct and hunch. I think people can know if they CAN love someone pretty early into knowing that person. This also relates to my belief that it is possible to love more than one person, it would be incredibly cruel for the universe to only provide one true candidate for your life partner.... but then again - the universe really sucks sometimes.

Also, there is a cheesy quote that totally applies; it goes something like: "Don't be sad because it's over, be thankful because it happened" -Justgirlythings or something cliche like that. It is true, if you dwell on it, it will only hurt more. It ended for a reason. A good friend of mine once compared love to a childrens toy, you know the one where you just put a block in the hole it is shaped like? He said "You can't force a square block through a triangle hole (assuming they are proportionally similar)".

Just remember, you lose every chance you don't take.

-Umar

P.S. This post was a bit challenging for me because I wasn't too sure what the request was asking for exactly, I hope this post will suffice. I love all of you guys.

Some Quotes

Recently I was discussing quotes with someone and it has inspired me to post some of the best quotes ever...

"Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate."
 - 500 Days of Summer

"People should be able to say how they feel - how they really feel - not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouths." 
- 500 Days of Summer

"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated."
 - 500 Days of Summer

"This is lies. We are liars. Think about it. Why do people buy cards? It's not because they want to say how they feel. People buy cards because they can't say they feel or are afraid to. And we provide the service that let's them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. Or at least let them speak for themselves. Right?"
 - 500 Days of Summer

"We accept the love we think we deserve." 
- Perks of Being a Wallflower

"I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other."
- Perks of Being a Wallflower

"It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book."
- Perks of Being a Wallflower

"I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
- Perks of Being a Wallflower

"I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong... to measure yourself at least once."
- Into the Wild

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."
- Into the Wild

"You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living."
- Into the Wild

"Nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
- Into the Wild

"At long last he was unencumbered, emancipated from the stifling world of his parents and peers, a world of abstraction and security and material excess, a world in which he felt grievously cut off from the raw throb of existence."
- Into the Wild

"I always think of each night as a song. Or each moment as a song. But now I'm seeing we don't live in a single song. We move from song to song, from lyric to lyric, from chord to chord. There is no ending here. It's an infinite playlist."
- Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

"Answer all the questions that I'm too afraid to ask"
- Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

"Perhaps it's not that I'm frigid-- it's that once I decide I like a person, I turn into a raging idiot, unfit for public appearances."
- Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives."
- Youth in Revolt

"In the movies the good guy gets the girl. In real life it's usually the prick."
- Youth in Revolt

"Because nothing sucks more than being all alone.. no matter how many people are around."
- Scrubs

"If I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world or sitting at home with you eating pizza watching a crappy tv show. I'd choose you every time."
- Scrubs

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it. "
- The Lion King
"Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?...You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period."
- The Pursuit of Happiness

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them."
- Scott Pilgrim vs The World

"I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you."
-Scott Pilgrim vs The World

"This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that "cellar door" is the most beautiful."
- Donnie Darko

Occam's Razor

Occam's offer a closer shave than any other razor on the market. 

I am about to finish my first year of college.

Each time I say that I can not help to think about how quickly everything went by, how different I wish some things would've been, and how perfect some other things were. Initially I thought about how fast it went by when compared to a year of school from when I younger; the year from my youth felt so much longer. During my latest peaceful pondering I had figured out why time goes faster as you get older.

I felt that perhaps a day felt longer when you were young because it was a larger part of your life, for example: A day to a 6 year-old is 1/2190th of their life on earth, assuming they are exactly 6 years old. Whereas for an 18 year-old it is 1/6570th of their life - while figuring out these numbers I thought it made sense until I figured out that this is going to suggest that a day for a 6 year-old feels 3 times longer than a day to an 18 year-old. Which.... does not seem accurate in the slightest.

Like most things I am likely over-thinking the entire concept and counting variables that don't exist, while leaving out others that do. There is occam's razor with which people have identified as a principle claiming that when there are multiple equally likely hypotheses being tested against one another, the one with the fewest assumptions should be the one chosen. In simpler terms, the less complicated answer is the right one. Following the principle my entire post should be discredited entirely.... but that leaves me with less silly things to think about.

TL;DR of this post: I have a theory that time goes faster due to the amount being a smaller portion of the whole, however, I have nothing but personal experience to support the idea. Occam's razor is cool. 


-Umar