People

People are a strange thing, and maybe I just think this way because of my personal issues or something. When I see someone who is just incredibly confident I wonder how they do it, how they don't reveal any signs of self-doubt. Alternatively, this is the same when I see someone incredibly timid - I can't help but wonder what made them this way.

In my opinion, deep down we are all the same. We are just human, so it's crazy to think that people develop this superiority/inferiority complex. I mean, sure you can attribute it to a loving mother praising someone too much when they were a child but to some extent they have to know we are all just walking piles of thought.

This isn't meant to be an insult or a jab at anyone but society has developed such a selfish mindset and it has become the absolute norm for everyone. I think it is truly the root to most issues with people, at least mentally. Supporting these people who need to be humbled and stepping on those who are already vulnerable is no way of life - yet is the lifestyle most of us lead without knowing. Perhaps I'm just cynical, or it's a cultural thing I'm surrounded by. Hopefully.


People are afraid to be alone. I have two siblings (at least siblings I grew up with) and they are both in very committed relationships, at the point I could see either of them with a vision to marry the person they are with. I am very far from this, and I think that can partially be due to the fact that the last person I truly felt that way for turned my world upside down and things haven't really been the same since. A while ago I made a vow to never jump into a relationship because it was convenient, or because I was afraid of being alone - which initially seemed easy as an 18 year old high school graduate. It's only been 2 years since then and now that I have friends actually getting married, and both my siblings are in relationships described previously the vow I took is becoming more difficult. Not in the sense of actively seeking someone, but more in the sense of "how have I not met someone when all of these other people have?". I have told a lot of people that dating just isn't really in my agenda at the moment, but it is really just a far more complicated reason than that. It's easier to say that than it is to tell people I don't believe I should actively seek out someone to be with. It's difficult to explain because as I've gotten older - people are more afraid of being alone. They don't even want to accept the fact they are afraid of that, because it's morbid, and it's not a pure reason to want to be with someone. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of these situations where both people are happy and will remain happy for a very long time. It's just not the optimal situation for me.

I think there are only REALLY two paths that children are led to during their upbringing.

Path 1: Humans exist to produce goods, they exist to work and contribute to society. They make a family and their name is carried on.

Path 2: Humans exist to be happy, they exist to find love and to follow their passions.

I think I was raised more towards the second path than the first, and this is because of my mom's nature. My issue with both paths is they both essentially require finding a life partner. The first is more for the utility of contributing, having kids, etc. while the second is to find love. I'm more a fan of path 3.

Let life happen.

If true love or soul mates or any of that bullshit exists then it's going to happen when it happens. If not then you will probably still have one day where you meet someone who just vibes with you. Life is bullshit, don't add more bullshit to it.

- Umar